Episode 61: Change is Constant
Updated: Jan 4
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Little Cabin Knits is a biweekly podcast all about knitting, mental health, advocacy, my new mama journey, and life happenings here in the wilds of Alaska with a little bit of Hygge sprinkled throughout. I’m your host Emily. I am a knitter, crafter, mental health therapist, and explorer of my home state of Alaska
This week’s episode contains:
’Raise a Cuppa
On the Couch
Personal Skill Set
A Time for Hygge
Charming Ewe is now an official Sponsor of Little Cabin Knits!
Andersmillknits on IG and Ravelry
Between Knits and Purls on YouTube
You can find all the show notes on our official website: www.betweenknitsandpurls.com
If you have a question, or comment you can email me at littlecabinknitsAK@gmail.com
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’Raise a Cuppa
Lots to update you all on since it has been a hot minute.
Jimmy is now 5 months old!
He laughs and plays and best of all loves cuddles!
Jimmy had his first camping trip in September
We all had Covid
I went back to work
We had our first wedding anniversary!
Jimmy had his first Halloween which was spent indoors with mama who had the flu. He was a sheep!
My dad had triple bypass surgery
On the Couch
Charming Musselburgh by Ysolde
Yarn: Charming Ewe in the Suki Base and the July Jingle Colorway
Link to my Ravelry project page
Fox latch hook rug kit
Amazon link: Latch Hook Kits for Adults, DIY Rug Kits Special-Shaped Animal Fox https://a.co/d/9iNuvlj
On the Shelf
Albert’s Pilot Hat by Petite Knits
Yarn: Knit Picks Provencial Tweed (leftovers from Mr. Radios Wedding Sweater)
Tendrilly by Dee O'Keefe (link to Ravelry)
Knit using Brava worsted minis in the colorway Marina.
Using US 7's
pattern is a lace and cable motif.
Personal Skill Set
Perhaps the one constant in our lives is that change is always occurring. The Changes may be big events such as having your first baby, getting married or divorced, moving, or starting or ending a job. But there are daily small changes that happen frequently. We change our minds on topics, we choose what to wear, where to go, what to eat and those choices are a part of change.
As I said there are big moments in life that create change and then there are changes that occur within us do to our stage of life. We call these developmental changes.
In the early to mid 1900's psychologists and philosophers were enthralled with the changes that a person experiences throughout their life and they contemplated what the driving forces were behind those changes. One such Psychologist was Erik Erickson and to this day his theory of Developmental Change is the most widely held to be correct.
Erikson maintained that personality develops in a predetermined order through eight stages of psychosocial development, from infancy to adulthood. During each stage, the person experiences a psychosocial crisis which could have a positive or negative outcome for personality development.
Erikson identified 8 developmental stages that a person goes through in their lifetime. Within each of these stages our mental and physical capacities change and those so does the way in which we interact with the world. Here are his stages of change:
1.Infancy: Birth – 18 months
During this stage, the infant is uncertain about the world in which they live and looks towards their primary caregiver for stability and consistency of care.
2. Early Childhood: 2-3 yrs
According to Erikson, children at this stage are focused on developing a sense of personal control over physical skills and a sense of independence.
3.Preschool: 3-5 yrs
During the initiative versus guilt stage, children assert themselves more frequently through directing play and other social interaction
4. School Age: 6-11 yrs
Children are at the stage where they will be learning to read and write, to do sums, to do things on their own. Teachers begin to take an important role in the child’s life as they teach the child specific skills.
5.Adolescence: 12-18 yrs
During this stage, adolescents search for a sense of self and personal identity, through an intense exploration of personal values, beliefs, and goals.
6.Young Adulthood: 19-40 yrs
During this stage, the major conflict centers on forming intimate, loving relationships with other people.
7.Middle Adulthood: 40-65 yrs
We give back to society through raising our children, being productive at work, and becoming involved in community activities and organizations. Through generativity we develop a sense of being a part of the bigger picture.
It is during this time that we contemplate our accomplishments and can develop integrity if we see ourselves as leading a successful life.
Understanding these stages can assist us in clarifying where we have been, where we are now, and perhaps even foretells some of our future expectations.
Beyond this however there are the changes that occur throughout life due to our choices and motivation. In the modality of Motivational Interviewing, we hold that a person is in a constant stage of change in their lives, and we can assist in the clarifying and motivation behind that change.
Motivational Interviewing developed a theory called "The Stages of Change" This theory defines the different stages that a person progresses through as they become aware of change and adopt it into their lives.
Stage 1 is Precontemplation. In this stage a person either may not be fully conscious of the need to change a behavior or aspect of their life but there are signs that may be beginning to make themselves known.
Stage 2 is Contemplation. At this stage a person has become aware that there is something not right in their life and they may be now more fully aware of their unwanted behaviors or aspect of their life. In otherwards they have become dis-satisfied with things as they are. They take stock of things and weigh the pro's and con's of their life, or that aspect of their life they are uncomfortable with. At this stage the decision is made as to whether or not something is worth changing or if they feel it is too much work or not making them uncomfortable enough to put the work into changing.
In Stage 3 which is Preparation. During this stage the person who has recognized the need for change prepares to make the change. Usually, we don't just dive straight into a major life change, we prepare for it. Think back on your life changes: marriage, divorce, buying a home or taking a new job. You didn't just dive right in and do these things you prepared mentally and perhaps physically for the change. You arranged your support network, you deliberated on the best move and when to make it, you put in place safeguards to hopefully ensure that the change will be positive and move forward smoothly. (Warning, not all our preparations in this stage work out or even cover all the eventualities that come when we take the step to change, however even the most impetuous of people attempt to place safeguards to make the transition smooth - as the old saying goes though "the best laid plans [can] go astray").
Now that you have made preparations for change and you feel ready (hopefully), you enter into stage 4 of the change process which is Action! I think the word action speaks for itself however just to clarify, this is the stage in which we make the change, put all of our preparation into action and put the work into actively changing the aspect of our life we had determined to change.
It is important to remember that this stage rarely runs smooth (as I mentioned earlier) the hope is that your determination and internal strength is enough to provide you the resources to stick to the action stage. You see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and you fight your way through the dense dark forest of hardships to attain that treasure.
One you have taken the steps of Action and many of the trials and struggles that incur due to the action stage are worked through you enter into the last stage of change: Maintenance. At this point you should have a handle on things and in general you feel confident that no surprises are around the corner and so you are able to maintain the desired change in your life.
There is a secret stage of the change cycle. During the action or maintenance stage something may come up that overwhelms your internal resources to cope or continue. That stage is call Relapse. This stage is not one of shame or guilt but a place to retreat to again contemplate the needed change and prepare more effectively for the change before you take action.
We all have fallen into the stage of relapse, though we most often associate it with drug or alcohol use, here I am speaking of life changes. They say that failure is the best teacher and while our society looks down on someone who has "failed" or relapsed, my encouragement is to take a different viewpoint. See it as an opportunity to learn and grow within yourself. Perhaps something you thought was a strength within you is actually an opportunity for growth, and similarly perhaps there is an aspect of your internal being that has been waiting to be utilized as a strength and was hidden in the brighter, bolder so-called strengths of your personality until now when you are in the learning mindset.
(Personal example of change)
The one thing we can count on in this life is that we are all constantly in a state of change.
A Time for Hygge
“Hygge is about an atmosphere and an experience, rather than about things. It is about being with the people we love. A feeling of home. A feeling that we are safe, that we are shielded from the world and allow ourselves to let our guard down.”
Meik Wiking, The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to Happy Living
Our lives are stressful, going through global, local, familial and internal change can take a high toll on a person. So, this episode I want to encourage you to pause and think about the quote I just read to you. Tonight, as you wind down from your stressful day and prepare for bed, contemplate a life experience that has brought the feeling of joy, of home, into your life and heart.
Who was there with you in this experience/memory?
Contemplate the surroundings of the past experience? Where were you? What did your surroundings look like?
Next, hone in on the feeling of comfort and joy. Was there a particular thing that happened that sparked that joy? or was it the overall experience.
How can you cultivate more experiences like this one in your life? Perhaps there are some simple changes you can make to encourage moments like these to occur more often.
Now go to sleep. Let your mind dwell on this happy memory and allow it to relax you into slumber. There is plenty of time to make those simple changes in your life so that these moments occur more often.
“You will know you made the right decision; you will feel the stress leaving your body, your mind, your life.”