Episode 64: Self Love and Mitten Knitting
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Little Cabin Knits is a monthly podcast all about knitting, mental health, advocacy, my new mama journey, and life happenings here in the wilds of Alaska with a little bit of Hygge sprinkled throughout. I’m your host Emily. I am a knitter, crafter, mental health therapist, and explorer of my home state of Alaska
This week’s episode contains:
’Raise a Cuppa
On the Couch
On the Shelf
Personal Skill Set
A Time for Hygge
Andersmillknits on IG and Ravelry
Between Knits and Purls on YouTube
You can find all the show notes on our official website: www.betweenknitsandpurls.com
If you have a question, or comment you can email me at littlecabinknitsAK@gmail.com
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’Raise a Cuppa
Stay at home mom life
Jimmy now 8.5 months old!
On the Couch
Little Cabin by Caitlin Hunter aka boylandknitworks
Ravelry Link to Pattern: https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/little-cabin
Link to Boyland Knitworks Pattern Website: http://boylandknitworks.com/patterns
Knit out of Lion Brand Yarn in Fishermen's Wool in the colorway Natural or 098
needles: US 7 & 8
Cast on during the Superbowl of February 12th
Goldwing by Jennifer Stiengass
Knit using Madeline Tosh DK in Deep and Barbara Deserved Better
Super Scrubby Dishcloth by Cali and Cleveland
Crocheted for Jimmy to chew on in Apalachian by design U.S. Organic Cotten in sport weight in the
4.00mm crochet hook
On the Shelf
Silver Dream Mittens
Knit using Knit Picks City Tweed DK in harbor seal and Primrose
Norwegian Mittens for Mimi
Knit Using Knit Picks City Tweed DK in Grey and Blue (leftovers from Mr Radio's Wedding Sweater)
Washcloth set by Cream of the Crop Crochet
Using Apalachian by design U.S. Organic Cotton in sport weight in the Baby Blue colorway
4.00 mm Crochet hook
Personal Skill Set
What is Self Love? How would you define it?
At Psych Central they define Self Love as the following:
Self-love means that you accept yourself fully, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and nurture your growth and wellbeing.
Self-love encompasses not only how you treat yourself but also your thoughts and feelings about yourself. So, when you conceptualize self-love, you can try to imagine what you would do for yourself, how you'd talk to yourself, and how you'd feel about yourself that reflects love and concern.
Loving yourself can be difficult to identify but overall it is a feeling of well being, the ability to care for yourself, not just meeting your day to day needs, but also your spiritual, intellectual, and emotional needs.
It means having a positive viewpoint of yourself.
Some claim that self love is like unto an island in which the viewpoints of others regarding yourself are disregarded- oh not the positive criticism that is meant to assist in growth but more the mean spirited remarks others make about you.
Others believe that you cannot love another unless you love yourself first.
Personally I believe that both of those are myths. You can definitely love another even while you are learning to love and care for yourself, after all it is my belief that self love is a lifelong journey that changes just as a river bends and winds, is calm in some spots and rough with rapids in another.
I further believe that we are not an island and because of that it makes perfect sense that anothers harsh and often unfounded criticisms can harm your self love journey. We live in community with others, now more than ever due to social media and it is just not possible to not be aware and sometimes hurt by remarks others make about you, especially if they criticize you around something you are already aware is an area of growth for you.
Let's look at love itself. Love is so hard to define that authors, philosophers and honestly everyone that has ever lived has attempted to define it. It can look differently for everyone but the overall concerns is that to love another is to mean that you have affection for and a desire to help and be there for them. You can love another person and not agree with their decisions or actions. For instance I can love my son but not agree with his behaviors. It does not mean that my love for him is diminished but more that I am aware of his growth spots. It's how I interact with my son around those growth spots that really matters: If I ignore it or over punish or criticize him about it then I am allowing those behaviors to overwhelm my love for him (also can mean that I am afraid or lost in how to deal with the situation). On the other hand, if I acknowledge it and approach my son with love, curiosity as to why he behaved that way as well and a desire to lend a helping hand in working through the behavior then I am approaching with love and compassion.
The same is true for your internal self love. If you overly criticize or punish yourself for your behaviors you allow those behaviors to define your self worth and dim the light of your self love. If you approach it with curiosity and love then you have a better chance of not only working through the behaviors of concern and not only that but your self love will grow because you unlocked another level of self care and self compassion!
Love starts from within. We show our love to others in our behaviors, and words towards them. When we love someone we often go out of our way to do something kind and thoughtful for them. For instance, this example may seem like a small thing but it shows me daily how much Mr Radio loves me. Each day he brings home a diet soda for me. I don't get out of the house much these days and I do adore soda, so each day, on his way home from work, he stops and purchases me a fountain soda from our neighborhood gas station. Small action but big results, he knows that I love the taste of the soda, the bubbles of carbonation, and that it is a welcome treat at the end of a long day of caring for our son.
What do you do for another that shows you love them? For that matter what do you do for yourself that shows your love for yourself?
Sometimes the easiest words are the hardest to say. "I love you" are perhaps the three most important words in any language. How often do you tell others this? How often have you told yourself this?
What does Self Love look like then?
Here again I will quote from Psych Central:
The following are examples of what self-love can look like in action.
Saying positive things to yourself
Forgiving yourself when you mess up
Meeting your own needs
Not letting others take advantage of or abuse you
Prioritizing your health and wellbeing
Spending time around people who support you and build you up (and avoiding people who don't)
Asking for help
Letting go of grudges or anger that holds you back
Recognizing your strengths
Valuing your feelings
Making healthy choices most of the time
Living in accordance with your values
Pursuing your interests and goals
Holding yourself accountable
Giving yourself healthy treats
Accepting your imperfections
Setting realistic expectations
Noticing your progress and effort
A Time for Hygge
In the last segment we ended with a list of ways self love looks like in action. Each and everyone of these relate to Hygge and the lifestyle of comfort, of feeling warm, safe, and accepted. My invitation is to pick one from that list and concentrate on it in you life for a week and see if your feelings of safety, comfort, joy and peace are not enhanced.
Personally, I am choosing to focus on "Noticing my progress and effort." Since I am now a stay at home mom, my day to day life is both ritualistic, in that I have a routine of taking care of Jimmy, and at the same time I often feel under challenged. Oh not physically, Physically I am so drained and tired that I have constant headaches and have even thrown up a time or to from being so exhausted. Intellectually I sometimes feel less challenged and if I have to admit I often feel that I am not doing enough for the household. I am so used to being the bread winner and caring for my family financially. That was honestly easier than the way that I am taking care of them now.
So my goal for the week is to notice my efforts and progress with both Jimmy and myself and to reward myself when I notice those things with kind words and thoughts of congratulations.
What will you focus on?
“One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others.” Bell Hooks
“We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.” May Dunbar